22.31
A busy day: to Salisbury shopping via Pierre & Vivien Elliott, and then to DGM World Central to catch up with the post and to meet David Singleton.
David has received a call from the production company that is putting together the Top Ten Progressive groups - the same company that has interviewed Sidney, the Smith of Smiths. They wanted David to give permission for them to use an excerpt from the 4 minute film of King Crimson in Hyde Park, July 1969. This is the only film (that I know) of the first Crimson.
David could only refer them to the solicitor of the former Crim who has specifically withheld his permission for use of early unreleased Crim recording and film. The Collectors' Club release of Hyde Park continues in limbo for the same reason. I note, in passing, that animosity and negativity towards me continues from several early Crims. I am not quite astonished that this is so, but I am astonished that this is so.
We all have scars, no doubt. I have many. The history of King Crimson and its members, in fact, will not change: but the repercussions of that factual history, in fact, may change. If this were not true, redemption has no place in our world. If redemption has no place in our world, let's run the hot baths, open the cold champagne, pass round the razor blades & throw off our togas.
Whatever I have done intentionally, unintentionally and carelessly, to upset or cause grief to present & former members of Crimson, please forgive me. Whether this is possible or not, whether this happens or not, is not my responsibility. It is beyond my volition. From my side, whatever has been done to me intentionally, unintentionally or carelessly by present & former members of Crimson, that has upset or caused me grief, is forgiven. This is my responsibility. This is within my volition.
Then, I accept the tab for any negative feelings that I hold towards any former Crims, or indeed anyone else. And that even includes Mr. Alder, the Good Guy That You Can Trust Even Though He's Using Your (Unpaid) Royalty Stream To Create Forced Loans To Keep Himself Solvent And You're Paying The Interest. If I hold onto any nastiness, this is my responsibility. I do not have to continue holding onto nastiness, or resentment, or umbrage. There is no necessity in this. And no-one else is involved in me being pissed if I want to be.
If I wish to drop the negativity and replace it with a positive current, I may need help. And help is available. Redemption enters our world if we wish it to, if we allow it to. This "allowing" is a necessary part of any living practice. In Guitar Craft terms, this comes under the discipline of the heart.
Yesterday evening I heard the Sidney Smith e-mailing me. Sid was seeking information on a Crim writing situation at a rehearsal many years ago. One of the members had presented an idea for a piece, and felt rebuffed and rejected by my response in return. From my e-letter to the Sidney...
RF: It's true: I hoped for writing input from other members. I remember (this) contribution, and it wasn't Crimson. I'm not suggesting it was "bad", only that it wasn't Crimson. However much time we would have put into it, it would never have been Crimson.
So, (RF) controlling: yes in the sense of what Adrian refers to as RF's role of "quality control". But not as in "good-bad". Yes in the sense of being a gatekeeper in matters Crim. Crim has a particular flavour, scent, way of walking and doing things. If a great taste, aroma, walk and notion isn't Crim, it isn't Crim.
This then moves into how to operate that quality control, and how far to go with particular individuals. With (this Crim), who is a sensitive character and a lovely, talented guy, a much better player than I have ever been, my no was clearly a brutal experience.
Crimson has always been a complex and complicated organism. There is no one simple answer or presentation of multi-faceted and complicated situations where delicate people are involved in brutal situations. The world of a successful rock group is not for the sensitive. Jamie had the intelligence to leave, rapidly - to a monastery for 7 years! Crimson has that effect on people - seriously. It opens the door to another world, the creative world, which is unbearable to be in for long.
One way of getting a sense of the people involved, as I've suggested before, is to look at what they did before and after their lives in Crim. The distance between is filled by Crimson. That's what Crimson is, and you can discover it in the spaces between.
"Life is often desperate, but never hopeless."
